News, Tips & Haikus
Legs Shouldn't Bend That Way
I was setup on a blind date with a gymnast last evening. She was from Los Angeles, and at first she did not want to contort. But the wine and the words kept flowing and we ended up on the floor in a curiously unusual position. We played a game of Twister and found ourselves doubled over behind the couch. Then I handed her the condom and she laughed at the wrapper, putting it on like a West Coast gold medalist. Legs shouldn't bend that way, but...
Just the Tip - Fruit Department
Last week, I saw an attractive guy eating a banana in the park. I went up to him and warned him that I have a cheesy joke to tell him. He listened and laughed and then asked where I got the joke from. I pulled out the condom, handed it to him, and after a quick laugh, offered my phone number and slipped away. He called me a day later, asking to take me out for a banana split.
Just the Tip - Birthday Wishes Come True
It was my birthday. I was out with some friends, having some drinks, when in walked an absolutely beautiful girl, who sat at the bar by herself. I approached her, told her it was my birthday and that I would love to buy her a drink. She said “It’s your birthday, aren’t I supposed to buy you a drink?” I said, “Okay, but just one, because I get a little slutty when I drink tequila.” We talked for over an hour. I said that she was...
- 1
- 2